The character of Tarzan is based on my life.

I was raised by wild gorillas. 

You may be skeptical of this claim, seeing as the original story was published in 1912. 

There is, of course, a simple explanation for this.

I have mastered the art of

time travel. 


Fun fact, 1912 is also the year the Titanic sank. 

I could've stopped it, but I knew the 1997 movie would be a smash hit and I figured letting the 1,517 passengers die

was well worth it to help launch Leonardo DiCaprio’s career. 

Leo may only have one Oscar, but he’s made several good movies, so I still think I made the right choice.

As you can see, I’m not afraid to make tough decisions and that’s just one of the many reasons you should hire me.

To learn more about me and my adventures through time,

text/call 414.430.2697 

or email me.